I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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