I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it's like iHOP with fire
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
