In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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