Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
