fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
