Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
