He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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