Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
