I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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