on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
