Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
