what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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