Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
