I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize