Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
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