shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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