Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
