i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
