Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
