I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
