Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
