i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm at about main and main street
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
