so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
