you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In America we eat man semen.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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