there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
