What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
