i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
