The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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