I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
