4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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