i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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