All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
