I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize