Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
