I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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