Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
