none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
