Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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