Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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