well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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