Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
