If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The adults are the big ones right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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