Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
