my vag is so smooth its legendary
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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