You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
that's an acceptable place to lick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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