But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
