i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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