Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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