I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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