why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
