Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize