Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
