i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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