sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
