i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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