i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
