She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize