Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
