Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
