We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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