Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
