You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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