DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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