1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize