Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
