I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
