i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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