I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
