I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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