Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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