Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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